Meet A Model Malaysian

Hello, I am a model Malaysian. What is a model Malaysian? The best simplified way to describe a model Malaysian is the "one who causes the government (but we rather use the word country)least problem by agreeing to everything they say". You must think life as a model Malaysian to be pretty easy. Yes, I mean there are not many goverments in this world who care so much about the mental welfare of its citizens that they actually do the thinking for us! The nice people in the government are so nice that did some intense academic research and concluded that everyone is happy with the job they are doing but, as Malaysians, we are very shy to express this, hence they came out with the term "silent majority".

One of the things that I like most about my goverment is the fact that they are very concerned with public safety. I guess that is the reason why policemen are ordered to round and beat up delusional students who could potentially harm public and national interest. Fire safety is also another big agenda for my goverment and that is why we don't like candle light vigils.

I wish everybody in this world could enjoy good democratic governance like I do. You might not believe this, but my government could possibly be the most perfect government in the world. So perfect, many developed countries are jealous of us. Our grand leader, always insightful and quick to point out foreign conspiracies, has been great in teaching us the fine points of world economics. With hard work and the help of kind newspaper people, we don't need pointers from him anymore when it comes to identifying conspiracies. He doesn't need to tell us that last year's smog and flooding problems were planned in Washington and Tel Aviv.

To my fellow Malaysians who have not attained the status of "model Malaysian", I strongly urge you to just accept, through the help of our brilliantly independent media. It's not hard, just don't bother to think, that is their job, not ours.